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Spiral Process of Transformational Healing

Personal transformation follows a simple path in awareness. For any behavior pattern, habitual response or set of events that keep on repeating, the way to transform and heal is through awareness. Problem events repeat and with every repetition we can go deeper with our awareness until we can choose a different and positive response to the same situation. So unlike going around in the same painful circle of events, were actually going in a spiral that leads to us healing our responses to the event.

 

The very first step is to become aware of the problem itself.

Notice when you're uncomfortable physically or emotionally.  Now there is "something" going on.

The first step in awareness is by noticing the problem in the past. It may be a year ago, a month ago, a week ago or last night. Fabulous. Now we can see the problem and we can see how we reacted to the problem.

Simply being aware of the issue is a great and very necessary first step.

Now the problem will repeat again. And we will notice it again, after it has happened - again.

Don't worry, this is still progress.

As we look back at this problem event, we can go into more detail.

  When was my first awareness of it?

  How was I feeling in my body?

  What triggered my habitual reaction?

 

As we experience the same problem event again and again, our awareness gets closer and closer to the actual time it is happening. As we do this we work on how we can do it differently this time.

  What do we need in the moment of that event?  - reassurance, love, understanding, space, acknowledment, grounding?

As we continue to notice the problem event, we get better and better at spotting the tell-tale signs that its coming again.

And eventually we're able to choose something different.

 

For example: When my boss starts criticising me, I feel over-whelmed and I'm unable to explain my decisions and I feel frustrated. This is the repeated event.

What I need is a little time for myself, some space for me to gather my thoughts. I need to remind myself that I'm a good person and had good intentions behind my decision. I also need to feel safe in the face of this angry energy, so I need to do some grounding and self-soothing exersizes.

 

As we recognize the repeating event earlier and earlier, we can do what we need for ourselves closer and closer to the event.

In the above example, I may excuse myself for a few minutes, go to the bathroom or outside for some fresh air. I may do some grounding exercises and some self-soothing and reassuring. Then I can go back to the situation feeling more centered and confident and I'm less likely to react in the same habitual way of feeling over-whelmed and freezing up.

Eventually we are able to spot the event before it happens, take care of our needs and this time, in the moment, respond in a positive way rather than react in the habitual way we have in the past.

 

This is the essence of healing our past traumas where they show up as habitual reactions in current events.